Separation Anxiety – Mine

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Photo Credit:  Lynn Finley Burt, Sally’s niece

Many people ask me, “How is your father doing?”

I do not have a good answer.  How is one supposed to be doing?  What is the benchmark?  I cannot answer this question for myself.  However, this is what I can tell you:

Big Mike/Poppy/Mr. Radish misses his wife.

He does not spend the day in bed.

He empties and loads the dishwasher.

He does his own laundry

He has a new toy, a fancy bike.

He goes to church most Sundays and eats with his family afterwards.

He is working on a few projects.

He is perfecting the lamb shank, having conquered corned beef and soda bread.  (It turns out he was paying sufficient attention).

He likes to hear from his daughters every day.

He is not helpless.

He reads instructions, news, manuals.

But Big Mike/Poppy/Mr. Radish misses his wife.

How could he not?  Nothing is the same.

Although the grief journey is not a joy ride there are glimmers of one at the pit stops, up ahead.










Filed under Life

10 responses to “Separation Anxiety – Mine

  1. MrsNATO

    a.k.a. ‘The New Normal’

  2. Lisa

    I love this post. I have been thinking a lot about your Dad. Hugs to him, hugs to you. 🙂

  3. Winnie

    If only I had words that could heal….

  4. Donna

    When my Mom passed almost 20 years ago, I wondered how my Dad would cope…she took great care of his daily needs, much as Sally had done for Michael. He showed me how it was done to outlive your partner in life…much like Michael will show you girls. As much as we loathe the idea, its part of the life circle and will happen to each of us or our partners one day also. Michael will go on as Sally would wish him to…he may discover as my father did…she’s really just in the next room.

    • Mike

      She is with me everywhere. And Jimmie’s painting of our wedding picture is hanging on the wall right where I see it as soon as I get up in the morning, and it is such a great representation of her smiling face that it lights up my day and tells me to go forward just as she wants me to. That painting is one of my prized possessions and I think of Jimmie every day and pray for him and Donna. So thank you, Jimmie and Donna, for lighting up my day today.

  5. raftbuddy

    So beautiful, so heartbreaking, so powerful.

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