Conversation Between Mary & Joseph

Historically, readers, I have skipped ahead.  I am sure Mary and Joseph had plenty of conversations but this is the one that came to me in the middle of the night.  Depending on your point of view, it would be either very hard or very easy to live with She Who Is Without Sin, a teflon saint!



The scene is Bethlehem, Joseph’s family compound.  The year, 1-2 A.D.  Mary and Joseph are kibitzing over their preparations to go in to Egypt.  Joseph has (again) been warned in a dream:  Get up and take your nascent family and get the heck out.  Herod is after that baby.  [Matthew 2:13-14].  This was a high stress situation.


Mary:  Did you remember the diaper bag?

Joseph:  What?  I was working on saddling the donkey.  Thank GOD those three men showed up with all that gold. I was worried about how I was going to pay for it.  Normally, Habbakuk  would rent me one but who knows when we’re returning?  I had to wake him up just to buy this bad ass.

Mary:  Let me get the bag.  I threw the frankincense and myrrh in there.  What about your tools?

Joseph:  Yep.  Am going to carry them on my back along with some of the gold.  Hopefully that saw is well wrapped.

Mary:  OK, I think we are all set to go.  Jesus might get a bit wily but you can always carry him on your shoulders for a bit.

Joseph:  Sounds good.  You’re a saint.  I’m sure you’re ready to get out of Bethlehem, even if Herod is hot on our heels.

Mary:  Well, speaking the truth in love, darling, your mother was not that keen on me.  She didn’t even  want to see the baby.  I can say this because I am sinless, but really, she is a piece of work.

Joseph:  I know.  I kind of threw her for a loop though.

Mary: Yes, I get it.  Somehow I think I’ll have the last word.  Do you think we could stop at a wadi in Egypt?  I’d really love to wash off some of this animal stink.  I’m not complaining, of course, but it would be nice to freshen up.

Joseph:  I’ll make it happen.  You’ve been a trooper, sweetheart.


Shopping Suggestion:  Don’t!  It’s the Sabbath!  Stay home and bake cookies!




Filed under Life

2 responses to “Conversation Between Mary & Joseph

  1. Thing 1

    Too funny! Maybe SNL has a place for you as a writer.
    Thing 1

  2. Laura J Lopez

    Hahaha. Love it!!

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