Dear Friends of the EPP,
I must apologize for being MIA. This summer really rather sucked. That’s all. Here is a short recap.
I had such high hopes for Thing 1’s eye surgery back in June. During the surgery, while they were extracting her eye lens, she woke up. Yes, that’s right, she woke up while they were operating on her eye. Before surgery, we had advised the anesthesiologist and nurse anesthetist that, being a redhead, Thing 1 needed a lot of juice. Everyone agreed. They do it for all redheads. (Although I am not a redhead, I obviously carry the recessive gene. This would have been helpful to know when they were jackhammering my wisdom teeth out of my head at age 19; I could hear everything despite being “knocked out”. But could I tell the oral surgeon this? No. I felt trapped in my own body.) A Larry King episode about a decade ago clued me into this phenom and I mention it whenever necessary.
Before the surgery, Thing 1 was advised to tell the surgeon if she did wake up and feel anything. Not moving would also be much appreciated as they were working on her eye. This was not going to happen, of course. Naturally, when they were splicing into – what? her cornea? – she woke up and said, “Ow”. Given more juice to dull the pain, she still remembered everything. I guess they forgot the amnesia juice. This also is not supposed to happen. After surgery, she immediately suffered a series of migraines, setting the tone for the summer. Her vision, while much improved, is still not calibrated to infinity. I am a little bit mad about the whole thing, I just now realize. It tops the list of items I have filed in my personal WHO DOES THAT? trash bin. Obviously, I need to empty it. It is getting quite full.
Thing 1 is now back working in Baltimore where the unrest continues and homicides flourish like crabgrass. I have recently promised her not to track her on my phone’s Friend Finder as she traverses the ‘hood. While in Baltimore in May, Mood Ring Momma mentioned that we should watch the TV show The Wire on Netflix. Set in Baltimore and filmed between 2002- 2007, the TV show serves as a reminder that nothing has changed in that city. After a summer of binge watching, I now understand “juking the system” and the local politics much better. The reality of the situation really defies well, reality. Watch only if you feel like you need to elevate your blood pressure.
I delivered Thing 2 to his college on Wednesday, just the two of us. He worked hard all summer as a “plant care technician” and “bouncy castle peon”. Most mornings, his alarm went off at 5 a.m. and he was on the road half an hour later. Occasionally, he would join me for a yoga class. Mainly he worked, played basketball, ate dinner with the family, and slept. Rinse and repeat. He was a joy, earning my admiration forever for calmly taking Thing 3 to the ER for a sprained ankle in July while Mr. Understanding and I were enjoying Happy Hour pitchers and shrimp on the beach in Florida. Best way to get over dropping your wonderful child off at college? Clean his/her room. OMG. So that’s where all the socks went!
Thing 3 began her final year of high school on Monday. Which means we are in the throes of another Senior Year. Thing 3 spent the summer as a “pet care technician” scooping poop, walking dogs, and cleaning cages. Humbling yet edifying work. Likewise a joy, she worked hard at her gazillion activities this summer and she and her brother managed to coexist peacefully. For the most part. Today we go for her Senior Photo shoot. I had to bribe her with new clothes and a photo with our dog Mamie in order for her to accede.
It was the summer of Lo Bueno y Lo Malo. Lo Malo: a neighbor totaled our paid off minivan parked on the street, the washing machine broke down for nearly 3 weeks, the new car dinged by an errant parker. Lo Bueno: the two whole weeks in Florida with family, a wonderful wedding in Cincy, and a whirlwind medical conference in Chicago where we learned so, so much. Everyone’s alive. There were no real tragedies but my Words for the Year fell by the wayside. Life was just the teensiest bit out of control.
Oh, and I miss my minivan. YES, I MISS MY MINIVAN. “That’s right, I said it.”*
*Conservative radio host Mark Levin’s tag line. I can’t listen to his rants even though he is mainly correct in his assessments. I don’t like being shouted at but I do like his tag line!