Boot Scootin’ Boogie

I have been given the boot. Not by Mr. Understanding, but by a Chinglish speaking orthopedist. Microscopic tears in my Achilles tendon are hobbling me. Before that I was hobbled by a nasty cold. You would think this would provide me with opportunities to blog, but no, I have spent my time processing my multitude of medical claims, going to back-to-school nights, and visiting the aforementioned doctors and physical therapists. But woe is NOT me. I am not in a cast (!) and therefore am so very grateful. Can you imagine a plaster cast in China? I wouldn’t leave my house for fear of the muck.

A lot has happened in the few short weeks since I have returned to China:

1) the Olympic soccer game – the Chinese, for all their fantastic opening ceremony games, cannot do “the wave”. I have never been to a more sedate soccer game in my life.

2) Thing 2’s 12th birthday. I already had plans to attend another birthday party but gently inquired if Thing 2 and Mr. Understanding would be up to hosting the party on their own. They said they were, they would just have a cookout in the backyard. Poker, again, would be the activity of choice, along with the Wii. I said I would do the food shopping. Then it rained. I left Mr. Understanding juggling burgers and hotdogs for the 10 attendees after reading the children The Expat Princess Rules of Engagement (no food upstairs, no balls in the house, no swearing, no running) and after showing Mr. U the defrost button on the microwave for the frozen hamburger patties. When I returned from my evening’s adventure, the boys were in the kitchen and Mr. U was in bed. “That was a lot of work,” he said to me as I crawled in beside him. “I am sure it was,” I replied, chomping down on my tongue so as not to squelch his very good will. Thing 3, acting sous-chef, had cleaned the kitchen by the time I descended in the morning and was handsomely rewarded for her efforts, particularly since I did not even ask her to do this. Mrs. Bea Long, knowing I was food shopping between doctors’ appointments, offered to make an ice cream cake, an offer I accepted. I owe her big time. It was the best birthday party ever and I am still congratulating myself on this GENIUS, GENIUS strategy. What could possibly be better than leaving a bunch of monkey boys in the capable hands of a man while he did most of the work???

2) Grounding of all 3 children for failing to meet their KPIs (key performance indicators) vis a vis animal duties.

The hamster story is still in the works. Stay tuned. I am off for a (prescribed!) foot massage with Princess Ai Lin who has finally returned from the Land of Plenty. Thanks to all my readers for their good wishes and patience. Happy weekend to you all!

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2 Comments

Filed under Birthdays, Family, Fine Dining, Life, People, Princessdom

2 responses to “Boot Scootin’ Boogie

  1. Mood Ring Mama

    Can’t wait for the hamster story! KPIs – hilarious.

    Re: the Boot – Ahoy Maties! If you call Ex-Pat and request that she go get something that is in another room than the one she is in, you will be treated to the CLOMP clomp CLOMP clomp CLOMP sounds of a peg-leg pirate crossing a ship. Pretty sure Johnny Depp will be calling to cast her as Pirate Booty-licious in his next film.

  2. Flaky Friend

    The birthday party scenario is one I dream of. You go girl. Hope your tendons are better.

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