There are little messes everywhere from last summer. The Things are busy straightening the house as Mr. Understanding and I have bribed them with one of those Wii things to take back to China if they are duly cooperative. They have cleared out the game closet and collected a stack of books for the church bazaar. In addition to purchasing the video entertainment, I am paying 10 cents a weed, which, if they are enterprising, could earn them a Land Rover if they clear the entire lawn. Then there are spider infestations to be dealt with, the septic tank to be pumped, moss on the roof to be stripped, and the 4th of July to plan. I have my mother’s notes on the subject last year and will be consulting them, but mostly ignoring them. Don’t you think a treasure hunt is a little over the top? Me too.
I thought about a million and one things in the middle of the night for the last two nights and now I can’t think of a single one of them. Except that if there is an earthquake, my bedroom will fall directly onto the earthquake preparedness kit stored in the garage. Should I bury the kit in the yard or build a small hut to protect it? The first night awake I read all of Nora Ephron’s I Feel Bad About My Neck. If that is all she feels bad about in her mid-sixties, she is in good shape. Thighs and upper arms were not mentioned once. Can you channel a living person? I think we have a lot in common, Nora and I. Perhaps I am not really a wannabe Catholic but a Jew. This could explain a lot.
Last night I read Debbie Macomber’s Back on Blossom Street. I have read a few of Debbie’s books, which are light fiction set in Seattle. The writing is not high brow but the books satisfy one’s middle-of-the-night jet lagged entertainment needs. Think Danielle Steele for knitters.
Today an order from Amazon arrived which included:
A Wolf at the Table – Augusten Burrroughs – a memoir. I really thought I was buying a book by the Kitchen Confidential dude and that I could share with my mother. Ooops.
When You Are Engulfed in Flames – David Sedaris. This book will make the rounds of the entire family.
The Enchantress of Florence: A Novel – Salman Rushdie. If I comment on the book, I’ll probably have one of those fatwa thingys placed on my head.
Parenting by the Book: Biblical Wisdom for Raising Your Child – John Rosemond. I am going to pass this one around too. I might have to get out of my armchair for the teenage years and I will need some ammunition, Biblical and otherwise.
I Was Told There’d Be Cake – Sloane Crosley. Who can resist such a title? Such a preppy name?
Then there are the Costco books I bought yesterday on my first shopping expedition of the summer:
The Island – Victoria Hislop – which I touted last year via Ms. Dela but have not read.
The Good Husband of Zebra Drive – Alexander McCall Smith – have to find out what Mma Ramotswe is up to, it’s been awhile.
Empress Orchid – Anchee Min. China fluff? I need to read something to make me want to go back in August.
Rebecca – Daphne Dumaurier – purchased for Thing 1 because my mother made me read this when I was a teenager. I remember loving it.
Add to the above lists The Smartt View, a book KT sent me by a local columnist, Lisa Smartt, in her Hooterville newspaper, and Ahab’s Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund which my SIL gave me for my birthday in preparation for our trip to Nantucket this summer. I started Ahab’s Wife awhile ago but then put it down because I thought I needed to read Moby Dick first. Although a seminal work in American literature, Moby Dick taxed my brain beyond its feeble capacities in the past year and I ditched reading it. If I die tomorrow, that I did not finish that whale of tale will not be on my conscience.
Enough spouting. What’s it going to be tonight? I have a veritable feast on my nightstand, from the flaming wolf to the cake. With my luck, I’ll sleep right through.