Cheese Fight!

A few weeks ago my nephew Gabriel, named after the archangel, was sent to the principal’s office. He had been involved in a “cheese fight”. For his penance, Gabriel had to fill out a form entitled “Think About It” and enumerate ways he could improve his behavior, i.e. “not get involved in cheese fights.” The firsts offspring in family history to be sent to the principal’s office, we, in our family, were quite proud of the cheese fighter’s ingenuity at using dairy products as a weapon. A cheese fight sounds like a lot of fun!

Princess Ai Lin came over yesterday for a quick lunch and we took the opportunity to call Mood Ring Momma to wish her a happy birthday. Princess Ai Lin and I also had a few questions for MRM about the cheese fight that I had been unable to answer. We had imagined bricks of cheddar clonking kids on the back of the head, wheels of Brie and Camembert whizzing through the air like Frisbees, gobs of Cheese Whizz flung around like silly string, and sheets of Velveeta sticking to the walls, only to slide down when the cafeteria became too humid; all in all, a cheese brawl.

The truth, of course, was much simpler than our imaginations. Grated yellow cheese for taco day became cafeteria confetti. The altercation was over quickly and punishment, via the written word, administered swiftly. I like the form so much (“How did your decision affect others?”) that I am going to incorporate it into my own parenting handbook. Thank you, state of Washington, for such a brilliant use of my tax dollars!

So happiest of birthdays to Mood Ring Momma, mother to a cheese fighter and sister to a fool. Next year she promises to visit me and cruise the Huangpu River on a pirate ship for her landmark birthday. I’m thinking cupcakes for dessert with cheese sprinkles.


Question of the day: do you remember your elementary principal? I do! Mr. Donald Nietzche (sp? but pronounced Nitch).



Filed under Birthdays, Family, Fine Dining, Life, People

8 responses to “Cheese Fight!

  1. Raftbuddy

    Love the cheese fight! You can only wish that all parenting issues could be so hilarious! Can’t answer the question of the day. I went to 6 different elementary schools. I count myself lucky that I can still remember most of the teachers, but since I never got in a cheese fight (or any other kind of fight) I don’t think I ever even met my elementary school principals!!

  2. MCV

    Mrs. Tostie (pronounced Toastie)

  3. Mood Ring Mama

    Ah yes, but you forget that Gabriel is the SECOND offspring to be sent to the principal’s office; Cal, about the sweetest, naive child in school – all can attest to this – was sent in kindergarten b/c he was duped by a classmate into calling a girl a “French kissing cow.” He of course did not know what French kissing was nor did he know the implications of calling a girl a cow.

    My favorite part of Gabriel’s note is in response to “Things I could have done differently.” The answer, of course, was “Try to stop the cheese fight.”

  4. 425Heidi

    Mr. Wang. He was the only principal I was sent to for giggling during the singing of the National Anthem. The boy across the room was making funny faces and the music teacher was a war veteran. Bad combination when you are in 4th grade.

    The Starkey boys are both hoodlums (just ask my neighbor). It doesn’t surprise me that they have both been to the principal’s office. My son, however, is an angel. Just don’t get near him when he is holding a baseball bat (just ask my neighbor).

  5. Great comments, girls! I had forgotten about the “French kissing cow” comment. That phrase would look great needlepointed on a pillow. 425Heidi actually wins the prize for being the only commenter to have actually gone to the principal’s office herself!

    Having said this, I was involved in a watermelon/coffee grounds fight with Mood Ring Momma. The punishment was way more severe than being sent to the principal’s office. OUCH!

  6. Raftbuddy

    Speaking of watermelon and coffee grounds (odd ammunition in combination to be sure) I think strangest sibling fights would make an excellent blog subject!

  7. safmomma

    Our schools in South Africa had a very effective punishment, namely corporal punishment – spank those bad boys with a paddle (we called them getting ‘jacks’) and those boys would avoid said bad behavior for quite a while. Of course, there were always a couple bad boys, with exeptionally well-padded behinds, who considered it a badge of honor to get sent to the principal. It was our greatest entertainment to watch them reenter the classroom after a visit to the office! (Us girls got our hands smacked with a ruler – to be honest, we would have prefered the jacks!)

  8. SarahP

    My principal was Mr. Wolf. I was sent to him once for talking in class. I expect Alex will have the same issue in the near future b/c his report card always has comments about his talking out of turn. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

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