Hogs, Snogs & Blogs


It is safe to say that I have moved from Obese 1 to Obese 2 this summer, what with the lack of exercise (sliding a credit card through a machine does not count as a tricep workout) and American eating. Little Miss Piggy! What can I say except that there will be more of me to love when Mr. Understanding arrives in 48 hours? I am looking forward to a little snog. Speaking only for myself, long periods of separation give one pause to consider all the things you really like about your spouse. The last time I saw him, he was getting into a taxi in Brazil, his arm in a sling. It will be nice to be a family again. In a side note, Mr. Understanding was recently presented with a bill for $1,000 for the imported screw in his shoulder. So sorry, that bank account has been closed. Who charges separately for a screw? Don’t answer that.

Am leaving in a few hours to pick the female Things up from camp. Sleep over camp is supposed to inculcate independence in children. I think it was really designed to let parents miss their creatures. This is the longest my children have ever been at camp and I have woken up in the middle of the night twice, with anxiety, over their camping conditions. The weather has failed to cooperate this year. The wind was so vicious it knocked another glass table top over the other night, just as I was going out to remove the umbrella. Too late. Now I have a billion pieces of glass to pick up whenever it stops raining.

Thing 2 and I have been having fun with the grandparents though, the by product of which is a new household regime: poker for chores. Lose at poker with your mother and you have to clean the kitchen, take out the garbage, and swab the toilets. Since I have been winning lately, and Thing 2 has card fever, this should work out in my favor. Yesterday we saw “Live Free or Die Hard”, the Bruce Willis movie on Middle Sister’s advice. As one viewer behind us said, “That was a kick ass movie!” Indeed. It was “too over the top” for the Radish but the rest of us thought she was missing the point. Thing 2 wanted to buy if for his father but I told him he probably already has it, for $1.50.

Tomorrow it’s vaccines at the pediatricians. The fun never stops!

This sow is signing off for now.



Filed under Family, Life, Moving, People

11 responses to “Hogs, Snogs & Blogs

  1. Middle Sister

    Yes, loved BW in “Live Free or Die Hard” – how could such a movie be any fun if it’s not over the top?

    Also love the poker for chores game. I will teach my kids how to gamble promptly. I’d include the husband too (he always can use some more chores!), but his nose is stuck in the latest Harry Potter.

  2. Expat:

    I, too, have several $1.50 DVDs from China. However, “The Queen” and “Babel” won’t work for some reason. Can I give them to you so you can swing on down to Guanzhou and return them to the seventeenth street vendor on the left-hand side of “D” street near the White Swan hotel? Thanks.

  3. MCV

    Do you let your children read this blog? TMI

  4. Leezer: sure thing. I’ll put it at the top of my to do list.

    MCV: sounds like you need a good snog yourself (that would be a smooch). Yes, parents kiss. Children sometimes see them doing this.

  5. Raftbuddy

    Glad to have company in the Obese 2 catagory! Each day I awake convinced that it is “the day” I need to get my large hind end in gear, and each day, that thought leaves my brain somewhere around 3 pm. With no reunions, weddings, trips to bathing suit locales or other motivating factors this summer, such is life! Did not know you were such a card shark. If I tried that, I would be doing ALL the chores around here!!

  6. As usual we writers always want a good story, things are embellished a bit in this blog, but I thought it was brilliant that I suggest the kitchen be clean before poker. Also to help myself out, we are trying for dinner at 6:30. This means that I can play poker longer with out falling asleep.

  7. Bruce

    I kicked 2,397 to be exact, and loved every bit of it.

  8. stephanie lynch

    Hey princess, I’m sure you look great – don’t be hard on yourself you have had a lot on your plate (no pun intended) this summer. Daughter and I are off to Rome today so won’t be posting for awhile. Will catch up when we get back.


    Flaky Friend

  9. IranContraCosta

    I suppose it is one of our life crosses to bear that 90% of our self-talk is negative.

    “Sow” so misses the mark of someone who is fearless, funny, and a most amazing mother! Also, without crossing any lines since I am madly in love with my wife, I was thinking “voluptuous” during our recent visit…

  10. gamamae

    Gringa querida!!! I can entirely relate to the obese 1/2 thing…I am still in the land of GIGANTICUS portions and I just caught a glimpse of the bunda region in the elevator mirror today!!! We made it back from life,laughter and tears at the family reunion and will indulge a few nights at a SWANKY hotel. They give out fresh baked peanut butter cookies as snacks for the kids! What is wrong with these people- don[t they know who my kids mother is??I think the recovering from a fall off a horse is no longer a valid excuse. May work it off tomorrow as I get to oversee movers putting things into storage as well as pack suitcases at night. Does making the pilgramage to Target with the kids( under 7 years of age!) count for another few calorie busters?? Campinas will feel empty withoiut you all – Beijocas com pipocas – Me

  11. IranContraCosta: I’m sticking with porcine. But thanks for the compliments!

    Gamamae: Packing and unpacking suitcases and 14 hour flights with kids count as mega calorie busters. Can’t wait to hear the reunion stories!!!!

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