Love Languages

Last year, our missionary friend Toucan Tom used to lead a men’s prayer/study group in a nearby town. The men were studying a book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, Ph.d. Toucan Tom talked about the book so much that I decided to buy it for me and Mr. Understanding last summer as an exercise to do while we were apart from each other. Much to his credit, Mr. U did not balk at reading the book. The book describes how to understand your mate’s love language and then how to fill their emotional love tank, assuming that you actually want to, which I did because he is such a hardworking, handsome gem of a person. I raced through my book and finished the quiz at the back. I chatted up the book with Leezer, Elrod, Starbucks and Warbucks, and my sisters last year at our family’s 4th of July party; I chatted it up with just about everyone I knew. Although they all laughed at me, some purchased the book (you know who you are) and put it into practice, even lending the book to other friends in need. It has had a mini-ripple effect in the 425 area code district, to my great delight.*

The five love languages are (be ready for a pop quiz at the end):

1) Words of Affirmation, as in, “Honey, I am so happy to see you! You look scrumptious. I really appreciated you stopping by the store for that quart of milk. You are a real sweetheart. I am so lucky to be married to a man like you.”

2) Physical Touch, as in, back scratches, hugs and kisses, snuggling, hair ruffling, patting on the back, and procreation.

3) Gifts, as in, a bouquet of flowers, a new Honda SUV, a pack of gum, a love letter, a magazine when you are sick. It has to be something the person actually wants or would appreciate, not, for example, a Nordictrack for your pregnant wife, a dust buster, or tickets to Wrestlemania. These do not count.

4) Quality Time, as in, Date Night Every Week. Vacations a deux.

5) Acts of Service, as in, stopping by the store for the quart of milk, breakfast in bed, driving the kids to the dentist, soccer practice, and mall all in the same day, cleaning the kitchen after a meal, calling the bank, scheduling your husband’s colonoscopy and haircuts.

OK, there is no pop quiz. I am not going to tell you what my or Mr. U’s love language is. (You might think you know, but you’re probably wrong). After reading the 5 Love Languages, I purchased other 5 Love Language books. I just finished the one on children since my parenting skills could use a boost, especially while Mr. Understanding is slurping noodles and duck tongues in the Middle Kingdom. Now, onto the book about teenagers … before my love tank is empty.

* Please write in if you live in another area code district and have read the book(s).



Filed under Life, Misunderstandings, People, Reading

11 responses to “Love Languages

  1. gamamãe

    Will these books be in the give away or sell pile as you continue your purge for the move?? The words of affirmation as well as acts of service sound like areas where one might need a refresher course in, from time to time….

  2. Margaret

    I was told that if I did not post, the blog end. We can’t have that – – I have now posted.

  3. expatprincess

    G: I am keeping the books, are you kidding? My copy is highlighted for quick reference!

    M: bite me (that would be physical touch).

  4. Expat:
    I am words of affirmation/acts of service, Elrod is most definitely physical touch. Thanks for the love tank reminder. I’m off to touch my LUH VUH

  5. KLab

    So — I live in the 206 — but have not read the book. I need the cliff notes version. Here’s my question: Is there a tutorial??? Because my husbands suggestion of trading favors with another husband at the event did not pan out.

  6. expatprincess

    That was the tutorial! Do you not like your other blog handle? Kisses!

  7. Here is what I can tell you after reading the book. I am doing the exact thing that my husband wants. I told my husband that I needed approval. I was very specific about this. But you cannot teach an old dog new tricks.

  8. Well, I think we need to hear directly from the old dog! No more back scratching for him …

  9. Virginia

    I live in the 804 area. When I lived in the 937 area, our church had a couple’s weekend and one of the tools we used was this book, The Five Love Languages. I am definitely a gifts and quality time person.

    When I was 20, my parents gave me a mug for my birthday. On the mug reads “Win her with gifts, if she respect not words.” It’s a quote from Shakespeare’s play, The Two Gentlemen of Verona.

  10. MCV

    I bought the books and am slowly plodding through them. I had a baby before I could finish and breastfeeding trumped figuring out my love language. Now that the babe is on the bottle, perhaps I’ll figure it out.

  11. Virgina:
    Thanks for writing in! I loved the photos Wi7ard sent!!!

    I love the saying on the mug – might have to needlepoint that on a pillow.

    Hand the baby to the husband and get in bed with the book! Love you.

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