Cranky

I was going to write about all the fun I had out in Sao Paulo with Maria, but thought you might all be getting sick of hearing about all the fun I am having shopping in exotic stores, dining in fancy schmancy restaurants, and seeing live concerts. Maybe even a bit jealous. I know I would be, if I were reading the blog instead of living it. But I am too cranky today to write about that good stuff so it will have to wait.

Herewith, the dark underbelly of the life of an expat princess. Read this while drinking a Starbucks and pop an Excedrin Migraine (or three) and remember that I cannot do that. You are one up on me already.

1) I have had a tension headache for about 3 days, brought on by lack of sleep and stress induced by thought of moving in 90 days to yet another foreign country.
2) I awake every morning precisely at 3:30 a.m. and stay awake for about an hour; during that hour, when the headache is severe, I drink water, take two aspirin, pray, push my thumbs into my eye sockets for relief, confess my shopping sins to the Lord and beg for mercy, hoping that Mr. Understanding will be so happy to see me when he gets in Friday that he will not become Mr. Not So Understanding when he sees all the Brazil paraphenalia lining our walls and hanging from the rafters. Just writing this made my stomach churn with anxiety juice.
3) Tomorrow a variety of service providers are showing up to fix all the things going haywire in our household: the front gates that do not close properly, the computer that isn’t getting the internet although the other one is, the failing brakes and air conditioning on the van for the second time in two months. It is nearly 100 degrees every day. While I can live without air conditioning in my house, it is suffocating in the car; I don’t drive too closely to other cars in the meantime. Getting each service provider to my house represents 5 emails and 10 phone calls.
4) Did I mention I was having my Despedida (going away) party on Saturday night? Still have not found perfect outfit and at this point, am close to not caring.
5) Sunshine is not practicing the “violent” stringed instrument she begged for and although this is not entirely unexpected, being duped by my 8 year old is irritating. I know, I know, I had it coming.
6) Am worried about pets during move. Somehow, with the chaos of the summer, I cannot imagine bringing my two cats and a dog to the US for a fly by visit. I do not think this will make them happy. Likewise, I do not think it will make them happy to be in a pet hotel for 6 weeks. Although pet quarantine is only 7 days in China, and they can be confined in my house, which is a supreme blessing, they cannot go with Mr. Understanding in June. We need two more passport holders to bring them in. Thoughts, anyone?
7) … more of the same …
8) I had to listen to the maid baby talk to the dog. This nearly put me over the edge. I left the room instead. Baby talking to a dog is just fine as long as I do not have a screaming headache. Have I mentioned my headache? Now I see I have a smiley face emoticon where the number 8 should be and I cannot get it off. I do not want a smiley face emoticon there.

As you can see, I do not really have big worries. Just a lot of pesky ones that are piling up. I am now going to rummage in my linen closet pharmacy to see if I can dig up a different kind of pain killer and watch Gray’s Anatomy. Which all you living in the Land of Plenty watched 6 months ago. Wah wah wah.

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13 Comments

Filed under Life, People

13 responses to “Cranky

  1. Margaret

    WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH WAH WA!!! WA!!! No one is throwing ME a party, my toilet is clogged for the 50th time this year (and darn it, my maid has the next 13 days off!), I smudged my self-painted nails two minutes after painting them, and I just endured the most torturous hour of a first grade music recital. If I never hear a hand cymbal again, it won’t be too soon. BUT – I do have a full bottle of Makers Mark and Dancing With the Stars is just starting.

  2. expatprincess

    See, Margaret, don’t you feel better already?
    1) you have to throw your own party
    2) you have a toilet snake – learn to use it and remind me to put one of those suckers in my shipment
    3) have not had nails painted by self, or others, in weeks
    4) clang! clang! clang!
    5) the Maker’s Mark and Dancing Starts confirm it: you get all the fun! LOVE YOU!!!! Thanks for “taking the piss out of ” me, as the Brits would say. I knew I could count on you to brighten up my day! Seriously. I can say that now that my headache is receding, freeing up other brain cells, charitable ones.

  3. Winnie

    As our irish neighbor says when asked how he is, “I got up on the right side of the grass.” This is good for a chuckle, but won’t do much for stress headaches. (At my age, we consider Gray’s Anatomy more of a pain than a pain-killer – not excluding McDreamy either!) You could try hiding in your bed, but someone always finds you there and you’ve lost hours of valuable fretting time. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not in any way making light of your woes, (right now I’m delighted that I can’t squeeze my big feet into your glass slippers – it would probably be my last dance if I could), but I have seen you do amazing things with moving houses, carting kids hither and yon, and, in general, coping with whatever comes next. I have no doubt you will do it all again. (If you see Tigger, ask him for some of Roo’s Strengthening Medicine – I suspect it’s at least 150 proof!) Anyway, failing that, keep your chin up, Mr. Understanding had better be just that, and eventually things will get better.

  4. Susan O'Leary

    I just want to add that the Brazillian things that are lying all over the house are lovely and worth any short term trouble they may cause. But given that you are essentially handling the move on your own….. I know Mr. Understanding will live up to his name.

  5. Susan O'Leary

    How nice it is to have a mother in law who understands everything her daughter in law is going through and appreciates her wonderful attributes and contribution an expat wife must make to insure a successful expat assignment!!

  6. expatprincess

    Readers:
    Let me just add that I do not pay Mrs. O’Leary for her promotional comments. Plus, she is the one who made me buy most of them …

  7. Susan O'Leary

    I will admit that shopping and lunches are the perks of an expat princess.

  8. gamamãe

    I personally want to thank you and Mr. U for helping the local economy with your purchases. Furthermore- when you take them with you to the far reaches of the earth – you are helping people realize that there is more to Brazil than dental floss thongs, soccer, samba and uber models. Obrigada do fundo do coração ( e sua carteira). See the good you are doing?? Now can you please share you and Maria getting cray in Sampas to skafunkalicious SKANK music??? Can I borrow the tee-shirt for when I go on private school visits for my children in Boston?? Beijocas- ja estou com saudades!

  9. Gamamãe,
    Read today’s post – it is the beginning of the adventure. The best is yet to come! BTW, I have yet to write about thongs or soccer – future posts?

    Winnie,
    Thank you for your support! I am trying to make light of my own woes, since they are so picayune, really. We are counting the hours ’til Mr. U arrives!

  10. Mr. Understanding

    Xiao Ping,
    Don’t worry, there are tons of Starbucks here as well as KFC, Papa Johns, MCD’s and many others. Can’t wait to see you!

  11. MCV

    Hmmm . . . where to begin? At least you have an income and your headache isn’t compounded by a 7 month old unwilling to sleep, during the day or night. BUT you have been a superb listener of my woes and I thank you for that. And I don’t envy the logistics of an upcoming move.

  12. You think it’s an accident that you can’t remove the emoticon where the number 8 should be? Ha. God does have a sense of humor.

  13. expatprincess

    Leezer,
    You are so right! The harder I tried to get that sucker off, the longer it stayed right where it was!

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