I was going to write about all the fun I had out in Sao Paulo with Maria, but thought you might all be getting sick of hearing about all the fun I am having shopping in exotic stores, dining in fancy schmancy restaurants, and seeing live concerts. Maybe even a bit jealous. I know I would be, if I were reading the blog instead of living it. But I am too cranky today to write about that good stuff so it will have to wait.
Herewith, the dark underbelly of the life of an expat princess. Read this while drinking a Starbucks and pop an Excedrin Migraine (or three) and remember that I cannot do that. You are one up on me already.
1) I have had a tension headache for about 3 days, brought on by lack of sleep and stress induced by thought of moving in 90 days to yet another foreign country.
2) I awake every morning precisely at 3:30 a.m. and stay awake for about an hour; during that hour, when the headache is severe, I drink water, take two aspirin, pray, push my thumbs into my eye sockets for relief, confess my shopping sins to the Lord and beg for mercy, hoping that Mr. Understanding will be so happy to see me when he gets in Friday that he will not become Mr. Not So Understanding when he sees all the Brazil paraphenalia lining our walls and hanging from the rafters. Just writing this made my stomach churn with anxiety juice.
3) Tomorrow a variety of service providers are showing up to fix all the things going haywire in our household: the front gates that do not close properly, the computer that isn’t getting the internet although the other one is, the failing brakes and air conditioning on the van for the second time in two months. It is nearly 100 degrees every day. While I can live without air conditioning in my house, it is suffocating in the car; I don’t drive too closely to other cars in the meantime. Getting each service provider to my house represents 5 emails and 10 phone calls.
4) Did I mention I was having my Despedida (going away) party on Saturday night? Still have not found perfect outfit and at this point, am close to not caring.
5) Sunshine is not practicing the “violent” stringed instrument she begged for and although this is not entirely unexpected, being duped by my 8 year old is irritating. I know, I know, I had it coming.
6) Am worried about pets during move. Somehow, with the chaos of the summer, I cannot imagine bringing my two cats and a dog to the US for a fly by visit. I do not think this will make them happy. Likewise, I do not think it will make them happy to be in a pet hotel for 6 weeks. Although pet quarantine is only 7 days in China, and they can be confined in my house, which is a supreme blessing, they cannot go with Mr. Understanding in June. We need two more passport holders to bring them in. Thoughts, anyone?
7) … more of the same …
8) I had to listen to the maid baby talk to the dog. This nearly put me over the edge. I left the room instead. Baby talking to a dog is just fine as long as I do not have a screaming headache. Have I mentioned my headache? Now I see I have a smiley face emoticon where the number 8 should be and I cannot get it off. I do not want a smiley face emoticon there.
As you can see, I do not really have big worries. Just a lot of pesky ones that are piling up. I am now going to rummage in my linen closet pharmacy to see if I can dig up a different kind of pain killer and watch Gray’s Anatomy. Which all you living in the Land of Plenty watched 6 months ago. Wah wah wah.