George Bush’s G Spot

When I started the moving process, I told myself there were two activities I would not give up, the gym and Bible Study, even though wiping them off my schedule would free up more time to shop and/or purge.

Bible Study is held on Wednesdays. Yesterday was spent discussing the book of James, which had the following nugget: be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. You have all heard this before but it is very hard to put into practice for some of us, especially those with a wee bit of Irish in them. James, Jesus‘ brother, is all about being impeccable with your word: you have to walk the talk. We got off on a tangent about George Bush and his visit to Brazil last week. Regrettably, I had to cut Vangie off before I proceeded (not rudely, but by way of closing the subject) to tell the group how impressed I was that GW was well versed in biofuels in Brazil (I stayed up late to watch part of the Fox interview with Greta Vansusteren).

Last week I read in an online news account (AP?) last week how 8 out of every 10 new cars in Brazil ran on ethanol. This was news to me and I was skeptical since no one I know drives such a car. So on Saturday, while I watched Buddy and his team succumb to defeat on the futsal* court, I asked some of the other male parents about this, one of whom is a mathematics professor at the prestigious Brazilian university nearby and with whom I had served several years on a parent committee at our children’s school. Perhaps this man wrote the report on ethanol because it was if GW had eavesdropped on the mini-lecture. GW parroted back to Greta all the great things about ethanol that this man had told me, almost verbatim.

When I was finished speaking Nelly, a Brasilian woman in her mid-seventies, piped up and said, “I thought Lula’s speech was just awful with President Bush. Such an embarrassment, the way he was speaking, very low class. Good thing CNN didn’t translate his speech well.”

“I agree!” said Linda, an American woman who has lived her for more than 30 years.

“What are you talking about?” we all asked.

Lula said that Brazil and America need to find each other’s G spots.” Nelly said.

“What’s a G spot?” Phyllis asked.

Gales of laughter ensued. She asked it no less than 5 times. She was just not getting the smorgasbord of innuendo everyone offered up and I was worried that she was going to ask for an illustration. But far be it from me to explain the mysteries of sex to an octogenarian with 5 children. When she finally got it, she laughed harder than the rest of us.

The ladies concurred that GW probably hadn’t understood a word Lula said so that is why the press did not report it. Maybe the reporters didn’t either. Maybe they did not want to report that the President of Brasil was rude, crude, and lewd. However, if you are being impeccable with your word you ought to be able to find the letter G on the keyboard, especially if you work for CNN, the BBC, or any other news source which includes capital letters. Otherwise, someone could accuse you of censorship, which would be the real story of the day. The press wouldn’t want to make anyone look bad, would they? South America’s sugar daddy isn’t as sweet as the rest of the world seems to think.

* Futsal is indoor soccer with fewer players.



Filed under Misunderstandings, People, Religion, Travel

11 responses to “George Bush’s G Spot

  1. Thanks for getting back to writing. this was very good. I got a real sense of the occassion, the women who I have met, and the political scene.

  2. Gas Guzzler

    Well, what did the mathematician say about 80% of new cars in Brazil running on ethanol?

  3. Gas Man,
    That it was true. The thing about having a Flex car is that you can pick between ethanol and gas, in any proportion you like, and the car automatically adjusts via a computer chip. Ford and GM makes these cars in Brazil. If I were staying here forever, I’d buy one too. I’m all for getting away from petroleum and the whack jobs that control it.

  4. Margaret

    The part about Phyllis is hilarious – – I’m so glad she found the humor when she finally Got it. 🙂

  5. leezer

    I love the octogenarian not “getting” the G spot. Funny funny stuff!

  6. maria

    MK;try not to translate or understand what this idiot president says….´he made me sick….

  7. MCV

    Great writing. I kept wondering who Lula is, but I finally got it just as Phyllis finally understood the G spot.

  8. expatprincess

    Thanks, girls. You really had to be there because it was much funnier in person.

  9. Laura


    Are you ready to move on to another part of the world? You really have gone native, you know. I think you will be homesick for Brazil and Latin America as much as for the US.

  10. Wendy

    The best part was when Phyllis asked if she had one too (G spot)! We all had a good laugh.


  11. expatprincess

    I forgot about that! That was the best part!!!

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