Bronzeamento a jato

Readers of my mother’s blog will no doubt have learned about the evils inherent in children watching TV and their consequential celebrity worship. Apparently children who are given too much attention have delusions of grandeur and would like to become celebrities themselves. At the risk of being labeled a Hollywood wanna-be myself, which would convict my own mother’s parenting, I post the following:

Brazilian women will tell you, with no small amount of pride, that they are very vain. This is true. It is part of the culture that rubs off on us ex-pats, regardless of the nationality. Waxing, bleaching, vein stripping and injecting, implants, lipo, tummytucks, manicures and pedicures – all of it is considered necessary in the name of keeping your man. It may or may not work but it is just what you do.

I have been driving by one salon for months now which advertises a (jet)spray tan. As it is imperative that one be tan for Carnaval in Rio, I booked Maria and myself appointments for this morning in preparation for the Carnaval parade. In the event this beauty adventure turned out to be a disaster, we have time to recover.

When booking the appointment, the receptionist gave me the following tips:

bathe 2 hours before application, making sure to exfoliate.
do not apply any cream or perfumes after bathing
wear an old bikini and lightweight clothing
do not bathe for 8 hours after application

Early this morning, after performing the above pre-application ritual, Maria came by to get me. At the salon we entered a booth of sorts which had a door leading outside to an enclosed patio. Maria went first, stripping to her bikini and donning the kind of cap one wears for major surgery. The “sprayer”, for lack of a better word, applied coconut oil to the palms of Maria’s hands and the soles of her feet. Then she filled a little reservoir, on what looked like a professional spray painting machine, with a blackish colored liquid. After turning on the machine, she began to spray Maria in little circles, starting with the legs and working upward, ending in the face. When she was finished she went out to the patio and stood in front of a fan to dry the pigment particles. From start to finish took an hour and a half for the two of us. The temperature outside in the shade rose 2 degrees Celsius while we were being pixelated.

Naturally, we asked all sorts of questions in the name of beauty research. Here are the results, according to the sprayer: it takes about 2 hours for the color to fully appear; there are women who do this weekly, although on some women the color can last up to two weeks (that means we’ll have to go back); most bring a book to read standing up in front of the fan; you cannot sweat or stay in the sun for the rest of the day. The spray machine and liquid tan are both manufactured in Brazil.

I am happy to report that I am pleased with the results. There are no smudges around my ankles or elbows, no big streaks across my midriff. It beats the sunbathing rotisserie and is probably better for your skin. Fake and bake, baby, fake and bake! It’s where Talladega ends and Rio de Janeiro begins.



Filed under Cosmetology, Princessdom

15 responses to “Bronzeamento a jato

  1. Margaret

    1. How much does this routine cost?
    2. You own a bikini????

  2. $30 US. Yes, I actually dug up a bikini. Never used before this date.

  3. gamamãe

    Can we start calling you Maria Catarina, a nova mulata da Mangueira? I want to try it, maybe I will go with you guys next time, we´ll make it a threesome!

  4. The only reason I am approving of the tanning proceedure is for literary purposes. Mother

  5. Princess , may I say that no, you are not celebrity oriented. I think you would far rather have been President.

  6. Gamamae,
    I think there will be a whole crew. You do have to show your body off though to all your friends. Maria told me I looked like I had a “pe na cozinha”, a comment which most Americans would find politically incorrect and for me would be hard to explain. But you get it, so there you go.

    You are right about the President thing!

  7. Expat:
    Didn’t it turn you orange? How do you know when to rotate like a rotiesserie (sp?) chicken? Did it pool up in your belly-button?

  8. Meredith

    One can also get a spray on tan in the U.S. however, they are “manned” by an actual machine vs. a person.

  9. Leezer and Mere:
    I admit there is a slight orangish cast to the tan. You stand up and the sprayer sprays around you so no rotating or pooling in the belly button. Mrs. O’Leary had a bad experience with the US kind of machine tan. I am hoping she will write in with all sorts of comments.

  10. Susan O'Leary

    Hi Everyone, I am finally writing in to my dear friend Blog. There is so much to say, but I will start with the Princess’s tan. It looks great!!! She is understating how good it looks and I should know. Prior to going to a wedding where an old boyfriend was going to be that I had not seen in 20 years, I decided to look gorgeous with a spray tan. I am an of Irish ancestry so needless to say, I am pale even in the land of sunshine (Brazil). I had my hair highlighted and colored in the morning and then went for my spray tan. I went to a spray booth place to try it out. What a mistake. I had left a tiny piece of my hairline showing and it turned my hair orange. The tan itself was not great either, but there is nothing worse than bad hair. I went immediatly to the salon, of course my usual lady was on vacation. I was in the salon for over 6 hours, many of those hours spent in tears. Trying to take the orange out they had turned my hair a few colors. They finally fixed it and I went to the wedding with great hair. The old boyfriend had a wacko wife….made the whole event even more pleasant!!! But the second part of the story is even more pertinent. I am the oldest of 6 children, I have 4 sisters. Only one of us has the tan gene. One of my sister, the next oldest, gets a spray tan on a regular basis. She like Princess, has a lady who sprays it on . Her spray tan is horrible. When I brought up the spray tan . She told me how great it makes her feel after she gets sprayed. Who am I to argue with that. However, I have to admit we do have an occasional laugh at her expense like when somebody asked my other sister if our sister had a skin disease. We can see people staring at her legs. For those familar with spray tanning the proof is around the ankles and hands. They are the places that are the first to go after tanning. Anyway it does provide us sisters with a few laughs. Who am I to say ….she has a house on Nantucket and we love her. Her vice is the spray tan!!!! And it is forthese experiences that I tried to restrain our Princess, but we all know that is not really possible. But she was right and I was wrong! I am rethinking my opinion on the spray tan. She looks Fabulou!!!

  11. Susan, please do not encourage her. Mother

  12. Just so you know, I am going in for another application this weekend. While I am not so stupid to think I would actually blend with the crowd, likewise, I do not wish to stand out, Mother. I promise to stop soon!

  13. maria

    As a brasilian I have to explain:
    vain has another meaning in Brasil;it´s something good and explain a lot about pleople´s personality….we have the idea that if you d´ont care about yourself ,how could you care about another person??
    Princess;it´s not to keep husbands ,it´s much more important than that,sometimes is to show to other women how pretty we are (nada a ver com sapatão.ok?)

  14. This is why we went for our second spray tan. You have it from the mouth of the dentist. The word in Portugese is “vaidosa” and is hard to translate into English. I disagree over the reasons with Maria why Brasilian women are vaidosa. She is married to the Orthodontist, a very nice man who is not a sapatao – he is not going anywhere!

  15. gamamãe

    as a brasilian- american I would like to add – you are both right. It´s about looking good in general. To your husband,to your friends, to your uncles friends, to the guys at the butcher shop( no specifics, ,just an example!)Lets meet to go over your portuguese slang . As I undertood it, I think you bring a new interpretation to the term sapatão.

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